this is totally tempting okay? adipure addiction of mine (:
Thursday, October 30, 2008
this is totally tempting okay? adipure addiction of mine (:
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
tired.
worked from saturday 10pm till monday 8pm.
mampos uhh! heh.
lazy nak update.
& Playstation 3, here i come!
yeah!
takecare.
worked from saturday 10pm till monday 8pm.
mampos uhh! heh.
lazy nak update.
& Playstation 3, here i come!
yeah!
takecare.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
happy 15th birthday to you;
Khairah Izzah Binte Shahril. (:
you're a year older huh?
hope to see you around, i don't wanna lose you forever.
but by the way how things are going, we're drifting further apart.
i miss those times together, those laughter, your hugs?
kay, i should stop, heh.
you takecare then. :D
Khairah Izzah Binte Shahril. (:
you're a year older huh?
hope to see you around, i don't wanna lose you forever.
but by the way how things are going, we're drifting further apart.
i miss those times together, those laughter, your hugs?
kay, i should stop, heh.
you takecare then. :D
Friday, October 17, 2008
yea, i miss you khairah izzah bte shahril. ):
heh. &now, i hate myself for every single thing thats happening to me.
mum, dad, brother. all adding up to my problems,
please, i have enough problems that even myself can't handle & yet, you're adding to it.
every minute that passes by, all i hope for is that you'll msg me.
i'll be right here waiting. one day. one day.
you all takecare ;
FUCK THIS WORLD ;
lets all die.
bye.
Monday, October 13, 2008
i miss you;
takecare.
takecare.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
i still don't get it ibu, you still won't talk to me?
pft. idk why luh eh. dad, you're the same.
haiy, everyone just keep turning their back on me.
seriously, i can't help it anymore. &sorry faiz, tadi aku maki kau.
harap kau fahamfaham okay? itu friendship band aku treasure selama-lamanye. heh.
fcuk luh okay, can someone just stop these tears.
imyimyimyimyimyimyimyimyimy!
to think that i can make it on my own?
i just can't. 72 hours; SLEEPLESS NIGHTS! ):
anw, thanks for pooh bear, he's my companion for now.
pft. idk why luh eh. dad, you're the same.
haiy, everyone just keep turning their back on me.
seriously, i can't help it anymore. &sorry faiz, tadi aku maki kau.
harap kau fahamfaham okay? itu friendship band aku treasure selama-lamanye. heh.
fcuk luh okay, can someone just stop these tears.
imyimyimyimyimyimyimyimyimy!
to think that i can make it on my own?
i just can't. 72 hours; SLEEPLESS NIGHTS! ):
anw, thanks for pooh bear, he's my companion for now.
you takecare. i love you still.
will always do.
it will never end.
sorry.
will always do.
it will never end.
sorry.
sorry i took your posts,
but i just can't help it.
been reading it for the past two hours.
tears, hurt, pain.
i'm sorry.
iny.
but i just can't help it.
been reading it for the past two hours.
tears, hurt, pain.
i'm sorry.
iny.
&& on the other hand ; baby ill try my best to push myself okay .
ill promise ill work hard .
& as for you , dont you worry okay sayang .
tho youre gonna be away ; you know youre always here with me .
please , dont think tooo much okay suffian .
cause you know you'd always be my baby(: i wont ever let go ; & i would never give up okay .
we're gonna make it happen . trust ; thats all we need .
i dont want us to fight anymore okay (: cause it'll bring us no where .
tho its proven that couples fight = a good thing .
i dont wna see you sad anymore ; it hurts me as much as you're being hurt ); im sorry if i ever did in the past .
& please , you once said to me ' dont let others affect you ' ; so same goes to you .
cause you know i love you & only you kan .
so dont you ever be sad and worried of losing me , cause you wont alright :D if its true you wanna make it till the end ; then we will okay .
i love you , takecare.
im sorry ive neglected you .
im sorry ive never appreciated your love for me .
someone will get hurt , but i dun want you to be the one .
sorry , iloveyou & i'll always do . can we start a new ?
im sorry if i've caused you lots of heartbreaks but now i realise that you've been there for me , you're the right one ; the one that love me just the way i do .
but please change some of your ways (: thanks for always being there for me , & i d k how to repay you .
i promise i'll be there for you and i'll love you till the end of time okay sayang .
HELLO SUFFIAN ! :D
iloveyou always okay .
please takecare of yourself .
& dont miss me too much ;
but i will miss you .
i hope you take good care of yourself during NS okay (:
i'd always be waiting taw ;
mwaaaaahhhh !
-khairah baby :p
i'm super down. sad. i have no one to talk to anymore.
mum; i'm sorry. i know its useless. saying sorry won't solve anythin, i know.
but what did was just to prevent you from scolding Ashraf.
nevermind, i'll take the blame. but that doesn't mean you won't talk to me
when i wanna share my problems with you. i don't have have anyone to turn to
right now, NO ONE! i seriously can't depend on my friends.
i tried to talk to you, but you just walked away, tried to explain things, but
you don't wanna listen. & now, i'm left with nowhere to go. and Zepa, Faiz, Ridwan.
thanks for being there for me when i cried just now (:
cause i just need to shed that tears, i just need to. its hard to explain.
no one will ever understand. ibu, its okay if you don't wanna hear my problems,
its fine with me okay? cause i'll die one day anyway. thanks for everything.
now dad; you're a guy, i thought you'd understand how a guy feels when
they're in pain, but instead, you scolded me &
hit me with your so call expensive belt sesuka hati when i got home just now!.
you wanna bring back all my pasts? all my unwanted pasts?! FINE! i'll stay away from both of you! just don't mention that i didn't change, i tried my very best.
i did try. but seems like everything i do, will fail eventually.
so, no point trying anymore. & ibu; thanks eh SUMPAH-ING! i don't wanna mention it here, cause i know, it will happen! sooner or later.
whatever that comes out from a mothers' mouth, will sure happen.
so, hope you'll be smiling when that day comes! the worse part is,
i tried lying down on your shoulder, but you pushed my head away & i don't know till now, after you pushed my head away, you slapped me & start to nag again.
FFFFUUUUCCCCCKKK YYYYOOOOOUUUU!
WTF DID I DO?!! huh?! i needed that someone to talk to, cry on.
but you just can't be bothered! all my pasts, takkan luh ibu tak maafkan?!
i know i sinned alot, towards you, ayah, tok & nenek! but i did seek forgiveness
from you guys?! did i?! pft. its so unfair luh. i thought my problems were slowly fading away, by the way how thing s are going right now, its just adding up!
fuck this world luh okay. how bullshit can my problems be, HELLO!
i'm only 18! & yet, i think i'm facing more problems that 18 year olds should face!
i totally give up, there's nothing more i can do to make all of you appreciate me
for what i've done all this while. i seriously give up. i hope yawl will be happy
when i'm dead someday. okay? (:
WTF! can someone just be there for me? i need you, yes,YOU ; KHAIRAH!
& i know, you won't show up. cause you too, have your own problems.
i just don't wanna suffer anymore luh for god sake! i've gone through enough!
&to the anonymous whatever shit yang tagged, fuck you luh! tak puas hati, jumpe aku & talk to me face to face. its my blog, ade hal, cari aku uhh. !@%*
anyway, i just need someone to talk to right now, not been sleeping for two days straight cause i just can't sleep, FULL 48 hours, havent yet sleep for a minute!
and yet, i'm having more problems each & every day.
thats why, i'd rather die than suffer! khairah, now you get it?
thats what i've been trying to tell you, but i'm afraid.
I MISS YOU TO THE CORE & NO ONE WILL EVER HUG ME THE WAY LIKE YOU USE TO!
but you don't seem to even care. i'm sorry.
to mum & dad;
if one day i'm away, please, you know whats my wish.
i'm too stressed up. too down to think.
too tired to even walk. i just don't feel like doing anything.
cause all i need is YOUR smile, & you know who i'm referring to.
so yeah, i just can't continue anymore.
mum; i'm sorry. i know its useless. saying sorry won't solve anythin, i know.
but what did was just to prevent you from scolding Ashraf.
nevermind, i'll take the blame. but that doesn't mean you won't talk to me
when i wanna share my problems with you. i don't have have anyone to turn to
right now, NO ONE! i seriously can't depend on my friends.
i tried to talk to you, but you just walked away, tried to explain things, but
you don't wanna listen. & now, i'm left with nowhere to go. and Zepa, Faiz, Ridwan.
thanks for being there for me when i cried just now (:
cause i just need to shed that tears, i just need to. its hard to explain.
no one will ever understand. ibu, its okay if you don't wanna hear my problems,
its fine with me okay? cause i'll die one day anyway. thanks for everything.
now dad; you're a guy, i thought you'd understand how a guy feels when
they're in pain, but instead, you scolded me &
hit me with your so call expensive belt sesuka hati when i got home just now!.
you wanna bring back all my pasts? all my unwanted pasts?! FINE! i'll stay away from both of you! just don't mention that i didn't change, i tried my very best.
i did try. but seems like everything i do, will fail eventually.
so, no point trying anymore. & ibu; thanks eh SUMPAH-ING! i don't wanna mention it here, cause i know, it will happen! sooner or later.
whatever that comes out from a mothers' mouth, will sure happen.
so, hope you'll be smiling when that day comes! the worse part is,
i tried lying down on your shoulder, but you pushed my head away & i don't know till now, after you pushed my head away, you slapped me & start to nag again.
FFFFUUUUCCCCCKKK YYYYOOOOOUUUU!
WTF DID I DO?!! huh?! i needed that someone to talk to, cry on.
but you just can't be bothered! all my pasts, takkan luh ibu tak maafkan?!
i know i sinned alot, towards you, ayah, tok & nenek! but i did seek forgiveness
from you guys?! did i?! pft. its so unfair luh. i thought my problems were slowly fading away, by the way how thing s are going right now, its just adding up!
fuck this world luh okay. how bullshit can my problems be, HELLO!
i'm only 18! & yet, i think i'm facing more problems that 18 year olds should face!
i totally give up, there's nothing more i can do to make all of you appreciate me
for what i've done all this while. i seriously give up. i hope yawl will be happy
when i'm dead someday. okay? (:
WTF! can someone just be there for me? i need you, yes,YOU ; KHAIRAH!
& i know, you won't show up. cause you too, have your own problems.
i just don't wanna suffer anymore luh for god sake! i've gone through enough!
&to the anonymous whatever shit yang tagged, fuck you luh! tak puas hati, jumpe aku & talk to me face to face. its my blog, ade hal, cari aku uhh. !@%*
anyway, i just need someone to talk to right now, not been sleeping for two days straight cause i just can't sleep, FULL 48 hours, havent yet sleep for a minute!
and yet, i'm having more problems each & every day.
thats why, i'd rather die than suffer! khairah, now you get it?
thats what i've been trying to tell you, but i'm afraid.
I MISS YOU TO THE CORE & NO ONE WILL EVER HUG ME THE WAY LIKE YOU USE TO!
but you don't seem to even care. i'm sorry.
to mum & dad;
if one day i'm away, please, you know whats my wish.
i'm too stressed up. too down to think.
too tired to even walk. i just don't feel like doing anything.
cause all i need is YOUR smile, & you know who i'm referring to.
so yeah, i just can't continue anymore.
all my tears will never end;
cause i'll still love you khairah;
no matter what.
cause i'll still love you khairah;
no matter what.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
omfg!
i can't play soccer;
eat oily foods;
do excessive running;
exercise;
& my ns PES status is still pending.
had my heart scan at alexandra hospital this morning.
got to find out that theres a small hole in my heart.
so call a leakage, WTF! i think doctors are stupid,
he told me that if i do happen to play soccer or whatever terms of exercise,
it can cause my heart to malfunction.
and in case if it does, it may result in death. BLABLABLABLA!
who cares anyway, i know i'm dying, might as well just go with the flow.
hole in heart, hole in heart. heh.
god; you can have me.
thank you god. (:
take me away when you want to.
goodbye.
i can't play soccer;
eat oily foods;
do excessive running;
exercise;
& my ns PES status is still pending.
had my heart scan at alexandra hospital this morning.
got to find out that theres a small hole in my heart.
so call a leakage, WTF! i think doctors are stupid,
he told me that if i do happen to play soccer or whatever terms of exercise,
it can cause my heart to malfunction.
and in case if it does, it may result in death. BLABLABLABLA!
who cares anyway, i know i'm dying, might as well just go with the flow.
hole in heart, hole in heart. heh.
god; you can have me.
thank you god. (:
take me away when you want to.
goodbye.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
well, sorry ibu. i didn't expect things to turn out to be this way.
i was just covering up for ashraf because i don't want to get a beating from both of you. i'm sorry, so, in the end, i got the beating from dad & mum came up to me in the early morning and slapped me cause she thought that i was the one who left
that cig box in ashraf's bag. nevermind, then dad hit me with the stupid belt.
& ashraf, please make sure that you don't do this again.
you're lucky that i'm covering up for you. pagipagi aje ibu dah panggil abang tak guna, tak show responsibility kat adik beradik. sakit hati okay.
i'll do anything for you, but like i said, change please.
takpe kay ashraf, i'm okay. just that ibu & ayah takot if you'll end up becoming like me. itu je. behave & mix around with the right group of friends. abang dah give up daa, i tried to change, and you know what ibu says this morning that hurts me the most? "abang anak derhaka! &tak guna pagi raya kau mintak maaf kat aku, because i know you won't be a good influence to your siblings and to evryone around you,
& you won't ever berubah suffian. "
i did try; ibu.
padahal all i did was stakat cover up.
&you won't know what i'm going through right now.
omg, i need you okay Khairah, like seriously.
but i know, you won't be there.
i give up. ):
i was just covering up for ashraf because i don't want to get a beating from both of you. i'm sorry, so, in the end, i got the beating from dad & mum came up to me in the early morning and slapped me cause she thought that i was the one who left
that cig box in ashraf's bag. nevermind, then dad hit me with the stupid belt.
& ashraf, please make sure that you don't do this again.
you're lucky that i'm covering up for you. pagipagi aje ibu dah panggil abang tak guna, tak show responsibility kat adik beradik. sakit hati okay.
i'll do anything for you, but like i said, change please.
takpe kay ashraf, i'm okay. just that ibu & ayah takot if you'll end up becoming like me. itu je. behave & mix around with the right group of friends. abang dah give up daa, i tried to change, and you know what ibu says this morning that hurts me the most? "abang anak derhaka! &tak guna pagi raya kau mintak maaf kat aku, because i know you won't be a good influence to your siblings and to evryone around you,
& you won't ever berubah suffian. "
i did try; ibu.
padahal all i did was stakat cover up.
&you won't know what i'm going through right now.
omg, i need you okay Khairah, like seriously.
but i know, you won't be there.
i give up. ):
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
first of all, HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY MD ASHRAF BIN MD SAPRI (:
you're a year older okay? not a year younger,
and as you get older, you have to become more matured.
and you have to say thanks to ME cause because of you,
ibu scolded me, for so called putting that ciggy in your bag. heh.
but, you too bad the H.S.A guy caught you with a cig box.
nevermind, i love you, i have to sacrifice at times.
i hope you won't repeat the same mistake again yea?
hope you don't. as a brother, i don't want you to fail in your studies.
you can come to me when you have your own problems, i promise that i'll help.
whatever i can help with, i will. as long as we both still staying under one roof.
just concentrate on your studies first, make ibu & ayah proud!
and insyallah nenek, she's looking from up above.
remember whats her wish? she wanna see her cucu excel in their studies.
so don't you ever for once give up. ayah will be there,
to help in your studies, cause i know i can't help.
you're smart, but don't FOR ONCE misuse your smartness.
seriously, stop bullying nur, instead, love her.
cause she's your sister after all. she's looking up to us as brothers.
& abang nak mintak maff kalau abang made you bleed at times when we fight,
i do fell hurt & did cry okay when i made you cry. tak sampai hati i wanna ever do
that to you, my own brother. i'm sorry ashraf. hope you forgive me.
&please, don't like sikitsikit nak marah ayah.
i know, you're getting older, that's why tkbleh kene sikit.
trust me, i've gone through more than you,
try to control your temper, ayah and ibu kalau pergi, takkan kembali.
so, while they're still here, make full use of this chance to prove to them that you can do it. i know, i use to be a bad example towards you. but now, i'm changing,
i'm trying to, & so should you. don't give up that easily,
try your best in everything you do, with penuh semangat (:
its every parents' wish to see their children excel in their life, score great marks
in their exams, and succeed in everything they do.
so, as i say, pleaseplease change some of your ways, at times,
when you marah ayah, i feel like crying, cause you're becoming just like me last time. now i realise that looking at you marah ayah, i do feeel hurt.
i can't blame you i know, cause i've been doing that for the past few years.
be patient ashraf, it pays, seriously. losing your temper, won't solve anything.
he's our father after all, without him, we can't be here, in this world breathing.
stop it ashraf, its not that i wanna scold you or something, ayah is just trying his best to make us happy, you see, he's been working his socks off
just to support us. did you ever think that kalau boleh pun ayah tknk kerje,
i can see that he's tired. but he's left with no choice.
as long as he's able to work, he will. for the happiness of our family.
see for yourself, ibu pun dah tak larat lagi nak kerje, but dah terpakse.
she have to work to support all of us three & tok.
nenek dah tkde ashraf, and tok pun tk lame kat dunia, to be exact,
no one can live forever, you may not know when allah s.w.t gonna take you away.
while you're still alive, have this opportunity to make everyone around you proud.
ibu, ayah, tok, me, nur, will be there around you always.
i made alot of mistakes in the past, &i dont wanna repeat it.
please kay ashraf, you're a big boy now. grow up and study hard.
cause i don't want you to make ibu and ayah sad,
cause they've gone through alot.
if you love them &nenek, please change.
for the sake of your future.
remember that we'll always be there.
anw again, HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY (:
&for you; KHAIRAH.
i've been trying my very best,to forget.
but i just can't. cause nowadays, i've been thinking alllooot about you.
your exam results, i feel bad, now i know, its too late to regret.
i should have been more understanding in the past, &should've ask you to
study more instead of wasting time on the phone, on the comp.
i'm sorry, but i know, its useless. sorry can't change anything.
but really, i'm still gonna be there when you need someone to talk to,
i don't get it why is it so hard for you to text me sometimes?
khairah, i'm really sorry for everything thats happening right now.
i'm really sorry. but all you can do right now is just pray. thats the best thing you can do when everything fails. pray & seek forgiveness to HIM.
insyallah your prayers will happen one day? no one knows.
i do miss you, & i know you feel the same way too. those times we had. (:
i'm not far away, ask yourself, have i ever distant myself from you?
rain or shine, i WILL be there for you, i promise.
just dial my number or msg me, i'll be there.
please, don't run away. cause after all, we both know our weaknesses.
& don't you ever worry, i've already forgive you for everything; every single thing
you did, already forgiven. (:
please. at least have a little faith in yourself baby.
remember? ; don't let others affect you.
i understand how you feel at times when your family tunggang-terbalik.
your brother, but you have no choice, just bear with it. dad, that's why i say,
you have to be more patient & prove them wrong,
trust me, if you prove them wrong, they'll be left scratching their heads &
mouth wide open till lalat masuk mulut. BBZZZZTTT!
wondering is that really you or your clone? sorry if lame. HAH.
i'll be there to assist you as long as i'm alive. PWWOOMISH! (:
i love you, & i don't want you to fail your exams & be more patient.
do please take good care of yourself.
& i'm still loving you.
you're a year older okay? not a year younger,
and as you get older, you have to become more matured.
and you have to say thanks to ME cause because of you,
ibu scolded me, for so called putting that ciggy in your bag. heh.
but, you too bad the H.S.A guy caught you with a cig box.
nevermind, i love you, i have to sacrifice at times.
i hope you won't repeat the same mistake again yea?
hope you don't. as a brother, i don't want you to fail in your studies.
you can come to me when you have your own problems, i promise that i'll help.
whatever i can help with, i will. as long as we both still staying under one roof.
just concentrate on your studies first, make ibu & ayah proud!
and insyallah nenek, she's looking from up above.
remember whats her wish? she wanna see her cucu excel in their studies.
so don't you ever for once give up. ayah will be there,
to help in your studies, cause i know i can't help.
you're smart, but don't FOR ONCE misuse your smartness.
seriously, stop bullying nur, instead, love her.
cause she's your sister after all. she's looking up to us as brothers.
& abang nak mintak maff kalau abang made you bleed at times when we fight,
i do fell hurt & did cry okay when i made you cry. tak sampai hati i wanna ever do
that to you, my own brother. i'm sorry ashraf. hope you forgive me.
&please, don't like sikitsikit nak marah ayah.
i know, you're getting older, that's why tkbleh kene sikit.
trust me, i've gone through more than you,
try to control your temper, ayah and ibu kalau pergi, takkan kembali.
so, while they're still here, make full use of this chance to prove to them that you can do it. i know, i use to be a bad example towards you. but now, i'm changing,
i'm trying to, & so should you. don't give up that easily,
try your best in everything you do, with penuh semangat (:
its every parents' wish to see their children excel in their life, score great marks
in their exams, and succeed in everything they do.
so, as i say, pleaseplease change some of your ways, at times,
when you marah ayah, i feel like crying, cause you're becoming just like me last time. now i realise that looking at you marah ayah, i do feeel hurt.
i can't blame you i know, cause i've been doing that for the past few years.
be patient ashraf, it pays, seriously. losing your temper, won't solve anything.
he's our father after all, without him, we can't be here, in this world breathing.
stop it ashraf, its not that i wanna scold you or something, ayah is just trying his best to make us happy, you see, he's been working his socks off
just to support us. did you ever think that kalau boleh pun ayah tknk kerje,
i can see that he's tired. but he's left with no choice.
as long as he's able to work, he will. for the happiness of our family.
see for yourself, ibu pun dah tak larat lagi nak kerje, but dah terpakse.
she have to work to support all of us three & tok.
nenek dah tkde ashraf, and tok pun tk lame kat dunia, to be exact,
no one can live forever, you may not know when allah s.w.t gonna take you away.
while you're still alive, have this opportunity to make everyone around you proud.
ibu, ayah, tok, me, nur, will be there around you always.
i made alot of mistakes in the past, &i dont wanna repeat it.
please kay ashraf, you're a big boy now. grow up and study hard.
cause i don't want you to make ibu and ayah sad,
cause they've gone through alot.
if you love them &nenek, please change.
for the sake of your future.
remember that we'll always be there.
anw again, HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY (:
&for you; KHAIRAH.
i've been trying my very best,to forget.
but i just can't. cause nowadays, i've been thinking alllooot about you.
your exam results, i feel bad, now i know, its too late to regret.
i should have been more understanding in the past, &should've ask you to
study more instead of wasting time on the phone, on the comp.
i'm sorry, but i know, its useless. sorry can't change anything.
but really, i'm still gonna be there when you need someone to talk to,
i don't get it why is it so hard for you to text me sometimes?
khairah, i'm really sorry for everything thats happening right now.
i'm really sorry. but all you can do right now is just pray. thats the best thing you can do when everything fails. pray & seek forgiveness to HIM.
insyallah your prayers will happen one day? no one knows.
i do miss you, & i know you feel the same way too. those times we had. (:
i'm not far away, ask yourself, have i ever distant myself from you?
rain or shine, i WILL be there for you, i promise.
just dial my number or msg me, i'll be there.
please, don't run away. cause after all, we both know our weaknesses.
& don't you ever worry, i've already forgive you for everything; every single thing
you did, already forgiven. (:
please. at least have a little faith in yourself baby.
remember? ; don't let others affect you.
i understand how you feel at times when your family tunggang-terbalik.
your brother, but you have no choice, just bear with it. dad, that's why i say,
you have to be more patient & prove them wrong,
trust me, if you prove them wrong, they'll be left scratching their heads &
mouth wide open till lalat masuk mulut. BBZZZZTTT!
wondering is that really you or your clone? sorry if lame. HAH.
i'll be there to assist you as long as i'm alive. PWWOOMISH! (:
i love you, & i don't want you to fail your exams & be more patient.
do please take good care of yourself.
& i'm still loving you.
Monday, October 6, 2008
well, here goes everything;
first, mum& dad, sorry for everything i've done towards both of you,
i've neglected the family, i know, i've sinned aloot!
&now, i'm sorry, i really realise what i've done.
ayah; suffian betolbetol nak mintak maaf, atas segala dosa-dosa suffian buat kat ayah.
i treated you like some garbage aloot of times, i didn't appreciate your love for me.
i've hurt you alot of times, and your eye, its gonna leave a scar even though you've
gone through surgery. i'm sorry. i'm really sorry ayah. for these past few months,
i've neglected you, ibu, tok, nenek. and nenek, i really miss you.
you were the one, yang jage suffian dari kecik, and now, you're not here.
anymore. seriously, faiz, uan, fendy, thanks for everything, i really appreciate every single thing
you did for me. your time, everything. &sorry kalau aku ader terkasar bahase kat korg.
aku nak mintak maaf.
ibu; suffian betolbetol nak mintak maaf kau ibu jugak, i've been lying to you all this while.
i know, you tried your best to change me, but i just don't bother to change
i just don't. but now, i really wanna change. &i'm sorry ibu.
iloveyou, yes i do! i need you ibu. its awkward to ask for your help at times,
but now, i need you. i just don't have anyone to turn to nowadays.
i just can't depend on my friends. they too need time alone. &you're busy
working, you need to support the family and stuffs. your words on pagi raya
are still on my mind ibu, i wanna apologize to ayah, but i'm too afraid,
too many things i did that hurt him. i'm just a burden to this family, &now,
god, please take me away. i really don't have anything to live for.
i've lost khairah, the one i loved with my life,
i really loved you alot & now you're turning your back on me.
your love, i won't ever forget, your smile, your hugs & kisses, your pampered mood.
the first time i went out with you & fell. (:
the first kiss. (:
the first hug. (:
the first time you said i love you. (:
the first call i made, " WOMANS SHOE " remember? . (:
the first fight. (:
the first time our eyes met. (:
the first time you kissed my hand. (:
the first time you ate in front of me. (:
the first time we hold hands. (:
i miss those times, now, really, i don't understand, you were my inspiration,
i thought i could count on you, but i was wrong. you left me with nothing.
i'll always love you, i swear! trust me. i'll come back. when you're ready.
i'll never forget you, my heart will be always open for you to come back, i'll wait for that day.
i'll wait for you. & i mean it, my promises, don't forget them just yet.
i haven't say my last goodbye to you khairah.
&now, i forgive you still, i always had. THANK YOU . i miss you alot khairah.
i'm sorry for evrything. i'm really am. you were the one i gave my everything.
i'll be waiting for your msg, your call, our meet-up!.
finally ibu & ayah, suffian betolbetol nak berubah, i really wanna turn over a new leaf.
its a promise to everyone close to me, i will. change my ways.
i'm gonna try my best in evrything, i would never ever give up that easily.
trust me. i'm not gonna be like last time okay?
selamat hari raya; maaf zahir dan batin.
first, mum& dad, sorry for everything i've done towards both of you,
i've neglected the family, i know, i've sinned aloot!
&now, i'm sorry, i really realise what i've done.
ayah; suffian betolbetol nak mintak maaf, atas segala dosa-dosa suffian buat kat ayah.
i treated you like some garbage aloot of times, i didn't appreciate your love for me.
i've hurt you alot of times, and your eye, its gonna leave a scar even though you've
gone through surgery. i'm sorry. i'm really sorry ayah. for these past few months,
i've neglected you, ibu, tok, nenek. and nenek, i really miss you.
you were the one, yang jage suffian dari kecik, and now, you're not here.
anymore. seriously, faiz, uan, fendy, thanks for everything, i really appreciate every single thing
you did for me. your time, everything. &sorry kalau aku ader terkasar bahase kat korg.
aku nak mintak maaf.
ibu; suffian betolbetol nak mintak maaf kau ibu jugak, i've been lying to you all this while.
i know, you tried your best to change me, but i just don't bother to change
i just don't. but now, i really wanna change. &i'm sorry ibu.
iloveyou, yes i do! i need you ibu. its awkward to ask for your help at times,
but now, i need you. i just don't have anyone to turn to nowadays.
i just can't depend on my friends. they too need time alone. &you're busy
working, you need to support the family and stuffs. your words on pagi raya
are still on my mind ibu, i wanna apologize to ayah, but i'm too afraid,
too many things i did that hurt him. i'm just a burden to this family, &now,
god, please take me away. i really don't have anything to live for.
i've lost khairah, the one i loved with my life,
i really loved you alot & now you're turning your back on me.
your love, i won't ever forget, your smile, your hugs & kisses, your pampered mood.
the first time i went out with you & fell. (:
the first kiss. (:
the first hug. (:
the first time you said i love you. (:
the first call i made, " WOMANS SHOE " remember? . (:
the first fight. (:
the first time our eyes met. (:
the first time you kissed my hand. (:
the first time you ate in front of me. (:
the first time we hold hands. (:
i miss those times, now, really, i don't understand, you were my inspiration,
i thought i could count on you, but i was wrong. you left me with nothing.
i'll always love you, i swear! trust me. i'll come back. when you're ready.
i'll never forget you, my heart will be always open for you to come back, i'll wait for that day.
i'll wait for you. & i mean it, my promises, don't forget them just yet.
i haven't say my last goodbye to you khairah.
&now, i forgive you still, i always had. THANK YOU . i miss you alot khairah.
i'm sorry for evrything. i'm really am. you were the one i gave my everything.
i'll be waiting for your msg, your call, our meet-up!.
finally ibu & ayah, suffian betolbetol nak berubah, i really wanna turn over a new leaf.
its a promise to everyone close to me, i will. change my ways.
i'm gonna try my best in evrything, i would never ever give up that easily.
trust me. i'm not gonna be like last time okay?
selamat hari raya; maaf zahir dan batin.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
omg, lack of sleep!
havent like sleep since the first day of raya.
just can't sleep. heh. WORK!
confirm penat giler! till 5 am oi. (:
have to drag myslef to take the train to redhill at 7am plus?!
then to CMPB, had my medical checkup. theres like 9 stations!
then the fcuking computer test waste time uhh,
after each test, suppose to have a short break, heck care uhh!
the questions are all damn lame uh i swear!
well, GOT PES "D"! wow, PATHETIC! , was expecting A, got D?
cause there's something wrong with my heart.
on 9 oct, need to go alexandra hospital at 845am for my heart scan.
i didn't know that there's actually something wrong with my heart? HAHA!
then after my scan, god knows what i'm gonna get next? hope i'll be posted to the police academy! (:
lots have happen lately. just can't type it here.
raya have been veryvery bored! i don't know why but its totally boring to me.
no mood to celebrate.
all keep coming back. if you happen to read this post,
imysm okay, like hell aloot luh! omg! i know you don't bother to know.
&i heard about your exams results. i'm sorry
i made you neglect your studies all this while, i feel super fucked up right now
i don't know what to do to help. its just stupidity uhh!
haiy, nevermind, imy. & sorry.
remember? have a little faith in yourself thing? i know you have.
your friends are all around you, if you don't need me,
your friends are still around. they'll be there for you.
i know, i'll still be there. but i don't know.
i'm crying now for god knows why. i can't go on this way.
but whatever it is. i'll still love you anyway.
go do your exams well and you can have fun later (:
we'll be meeting soon. looking forward to that day.
takecare love.
ily.
sorry.
: sebenarnya aku, amat menyayangimu;
ingin kita bahagia, sepanjang masa;
namun rasa cemburu, tak dapatku elakkan;
bagaimana untukku, hadapi segalanya;
walau bukan tanda ku benci, tapi sayang yang ku beri;
inginku melihat senyumanmu sepanjang hari..
sayang seribu kali sayang, cintaku padamu takkan berbelah bagi;
segala rintian akan ku hadapi, untuk menjadi milikmu;
tidurlah sayangku, pejamkan matamu;
mimpikanla belaianku, agarke menyanyikan lagu khas untukmu..
havent like sleep since the first day of raya.
just can't sleep. heh. WORK!
confirm penat giler! till 5 am oi. (:
have to drag myslef to take the train to redhill at 7am plus?!
then to CMPB, had my medical checkup. theres like 9 stations!
then the fcuking computer test waste time uhh,
after each test, suppose to have a short break, heck care uhh!
the questions are all damn lame uh i swear!
well, GOT PES "D"! wow, PATHETIC! , was expecting A, got D?
cause there's something wrong with my heart.
on 9 oct, need to go alexandra hospital at 845am for my heart scan.
i didn't know that there's actually something wrong with my heart? HAHA!
then after my scan, god knows what i'm gonna get next? hope i'll be posted to the police academy! (:
lots have happen lately. just can't type it here.
raya have been veryvery bored! i don't know why but its totally boring to me.
no mood to celebrate.
all keep coming back. if you happen to read this post,
imysm okay, like hell aloot luh! omg! i know you don't bother to know.
&i heard about your exams results. i'm sorry
i made you neglect your studies all this while, i feel super fucked up right now
i don't know what to do to help. its just stupidity uhh!
haiy, nevermind, imy. & sorry.
remember? have a little faith in yourself thing? i know you have.
your friends are all around you, if you don't need me,
your friends are still around. they'll be there for you.
i know, i'll still be there. but i don't know.
i'm crying now for god knows why. i can't go on this way.
but whatever it is. i'll still love you anyway.
go do your exams well and you can have fun later (:
we'll be meeting soon. looking forward to that day.
takecare love.
ily.
sorry.
: sebenarnya aku, amat menyayangimu;
ingin kita bahagia, sepanjang masa;
namun rasa cemburu, tak dapatku elakkan;
bagaimana untukku, hadapi segalanya;
walau bukan tanda ku benci, tapi sayang yang ku beri;
inginku melihat senyumanmu sepanjang hari..
sayang seribu kali sayang, cintaku padamu takkan berbelah bagi;
segala rintian akan ku hadapi, untuk menjadi milikmu;
tidurlah sayangku, pejamkan matamu;
mimpikanla belaianku, agarke menyanyikan lagu khas untukmu..
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
selamat hari raya to all muslims!
maaf zahir dan batin,
kalau ader terkasar bahase,
tertinggikan suare,
harap-harap semua maafkan okay?
okay then
you, imysm!
maaf zahir dan batin,
kalau ader terkasar bahase,
tertinggikan suare,
harap-harap semua maafkan okay?
okay then
you, imysm!
